Why is it so Difficult to Forgive?

Once again the Sunday Scriptures speak of forgiveness. When it comes to the difficulty we have with forgiving someone, I’ve always asked this question: If we have experienced mercy and forgiveness ourselves, why is it so difficult to extend mercy and forgiveness to others? If I entered the confessional a pretty miserable sinner but left the same confessional forgiven and glowing in grace and reveling in Christ’s mercy, why can’t I let go of the anger and hurt and just forgive? Here’s the answer: we don’t know Jesus well enough. If we took the time to contemplate his unconditional love for the worst of sinners and his ardent desire to go after the one lost sheep, we would trust him to walk with us into that uncomfortable place of letting go of our pride, putting aside ego, and completely surrendering to his will. Forfeiting all of that pride, ego, and misdirected righteousness and letting God cool our fiery emotions, we might actually love like Jesus loves. And loving like Jesus means it will be easier to love the ones that are difficult to love and forgive the ones who have hurt us. This means sacrifice – dying to self and living for others.

From the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross, we experience the story of mercy and love poured out for you and me. When will we learn that our task of forgiving one another is nothing compared to that afternoon on Calvary? Maybe we need to be reminded that when we extend love to a sinner, that love is transforming and moves a hardened heart to gratitude. Maybe we need to be reminded of the gratitude we felt when we were forgiven. Maybe we need to be reminded of what Saint Paul says to us in the second reading: “we should not live for ourselves; we should imitate God.” Maybe we should imagine God overwhelmed with joy at our gestures of mercy and tenderness toward those who are difficult to love. Thanks be to God for the gifts of forgiveness and mercy!

Have a blessed week!